Welcome To The In Between

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This is Between the Prayer and the Promise, a faith-centered podcast for anyone who's ever found themselves waiting on God. You've prayed, you've believed, you've stood on his word, and yet you're still waiting. Still trusting, still holding on to what he's promised, even when you can't see it yet. We gather here once a month to share real stories from real people, navigating that sacred and sometimes lonely space between what we've asked God for and what we're still believing him to do. This is a place for honest faith. The kind that emits doubt, that wrestles with that delay. But in spite of all that, we still choose to trust. Because here's the truth. The way is not wasted. God is faithful in every season, especially the ones that test us the most. So if you're listening and you're in that in-between season and you're holding on by a thread of faith, know this. You are not forgotten, and you are not alone. Welcome. Let's trust him together. Right here between the prayer and the promise.

When The Ground Stays Bare

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Be fruitful and multiply, he says. But what happens when the ground of your life stays bare? When the womb, physical, emotional, and spiritual, remains empty. When you're created to create, when nothing comes, you've been carrying this ache in silence. A baby shower. In silence. You are sad and you're aching inside, right? And you have wondered. But we're not gonna stay there. We want to discover what God does in the waiting, in the wanting, in the wondering if anything will ever grow. Welcome. Welcome back to Between the Prayer and the Promise. This is a space where we talk about what God is doing in us while we're waiting on what He promised. This is a space where we name what is real in the ape of waiting, in the weight of the dry season, and the quiet questions at the heart of it all.

Defining Barrenness Beyond Children

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Does God still see me here? And today's episode from barrenness to wholeness. And not just the physical kind, although we will talk about that, but the spiritual kind, the emotional kind, the season where life hasn't produced what you believe it would. I don't know if you've been there, I know I have. And you're still standing in the field wondering if anything would ever grow. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were created in God's image. And Psalm 631 reminds us that you, God, you are my God, and earnestly will I seek you. My whole being longs for you in a dry imparted land where there is no water. A dry imparted land. That's what airness feels like. And yet the song is there. That's what this conversation is about. What it looks like to move from empty to full, from fracture to restore. And my guest today, Denise Walker. She knows all about that. She's a pastor, best-selling author. Let me correct she's an award-winning author, y'all. Okay. I'm so excited to have her here. She's an educator, a writing coach, she's the founder of Hope in Christ Ministry and of Hope Writing Publishing Service. And guess what? She is here today at between the prayer and the promise, y'all. So help me welcome Denise Walker to Between the Prayer and the Promise. Thank you so much, Denise, for being here. I'm so excited to have you here, and I'm so excited for the conversation that we're going to have today.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yes, and what we like to do is we like to get right to it, right? We want to know about this. And so you as a leader, and I know that you have worked with many different women and that have dealt with this, right? And so dealing with not feeling whole, maybe, and dealing with feeling like they were, you know, maybe incomplete, right? What does that

Empty Identities And Root Causes

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transformation for them look like spiritually and and practically, right? When they are going through this process, and also how can they recognize that they are in a barren season? So not just like I can't have children, but how can they recognize that?

SPEAKER_00 6:34

So I mean, I can also, even though I have ministered and helped other women, it started with me, that barren season, that emptiness, and it's absolutely not just a physical barrenness. I know a lot of times we focus in on the physical, and I experienced that as well, but it is definitely spiritual, and so my journey along with some of the other women that I have have spoken to, other women who have heard my message and all of the things have experienced this empty place, and so my story is anchored in where why am I so empty? Why do I feel so lost? And so, again, as you were saying, it is absolutely not about just not being able to have a child, which that is very valid. That's a valid thing that is happening, but the barrenness and the emptiness of feeling like there is nothing there, you know, why did I go through this? Why am I still going through this? From the time I was a kid until the time, probably in my young adulthood, I felt like I uh I was nothing, I felt like I didn't amount to anything. And it had it was a result of certain forms of abuse that I experienced, and so it left me empty, it left me barren along with lots of women. One of my closest friends who didn't and that's didn't overcome her barren places and died in the process. She died before she fulfilled her purpose, and so that she's one of the reasons why I keep talking about making sure we walk in wholeness in Christ and get into that whole place and coming out of that empty place because we want to fulfill purpose that God has placed inside of us, and so again, my journey has everything to do with my experience from a little girl. And one of the things that God showed me was if if He if I didn't allow Him to do with that little girl that is lost inside of me, or that was lost inside of me, then I would not walk in wholeness as the woman he had called me to be. And so there are so many women in that same place where we, whatever we were called, whatever things were said to us, whatever things were done to us, we took on that, and that left us in that, like we described that barren land, where we just go to and fro on that barren land, and we stay there and we are stuck there in our mind in our in our spirit. We stay there until we come into contact with Christ, and that was my story until I came to know Christ as my personal savior, but not just that, because there are many of us who are walking with Christ but still empty, and so allowing him to get to the root. What is the root of why you are still in this place? Why are you walking in rejection, for example? Why are you walking in abandonment? Why do you take on this identity? And when you take on those identities, you can be in Christ, but you never realize that you have to come out of those things. And so many women who have read my books that I've written that are about this same topic have shared that they didn't realize that they that the reason why they did certain things and why they felt empty and why they couldn't, they feel like they couldn't move in purpose. All of that is tied back to that empty place, that that needing to be whole in Christ, and only Christ can do it. And and I'm a living witness that only He can heal all of that, all of that emptiness.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

So excuse me. Can you let's take it back a little bit? I want to

Trauma Miscarriage And The Aha Moment

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get a little personal so you talk about you having experience of that. So take us back. Where did that start for you? What did you recognize, and what was uh the actual steps that you had to take to be free so that you, like you said, some people are walking in Christ, but they're still empty, right? So what did you have to do? Because now you're helping so many women, and and and we'll talk a little bit about that later, but you're helping so many women become free. But you first have to be free, you first have to know, like, okay, I'm dealing with this. I may be going to church, I may know God, I may be doing all these actions, but yet I'm still in bondage. And so, what was it for you first to recognize that you were in bondage? What put you in bondage? How did you let go of those identities? And like, what were some action steps that you took?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

So the first thing, the first step where you said, What put me in bondage? What put me in bondage was childhood sexual abuse because during that time I believed that it was my fault. I believed that I had done, you know, it was it was me. It was as people would say to me, you know, you're you were too grown and all those things. I took on that identity. I believed that, and so that's where it all started when I was a teenager, preteen teenager, that's where it all started. And so it took just moving through that, going from there from a preteen teenager, and then starting a journey to, and what really sparked me to look to begin to ask questions, ask God questions was a time where I had gotten married. I got married young, and I was probably about 22, 22, 23 years old, and I lived in Orlando, Florida. And went to we I moved away from my hometown and lived in Orlando, Florida, and there was a woman who was an evangelist, and I didn't know she was an evangelist at the time. I was looking to get my hair done at the time, and and somehow, somehow, I just began to talk to this lady about things that I had experienced, and then in the in addition to that, along the way, after getting married, I also miscarried. So that was trauma on top of trauma. And so I was dealing with all of that, all of that pain. And and then I happened to, and I and I don't say I just happened to, I believe it was God. I believe it was God led me into. I didn't know Christ at the time, but I believe he led me into this shop, and and I began to just pour out my heart to this lady who I did not know. I had absolutely no clue who she was, but I just happened, I felt comfortable talking to her. And then I started talking to her about where basically I had battled with depression, and and I told her about the situation of miscarrying, and then after that, and it was like boomerang, boomerang, boomerang. So I told her about my my past and what I had been through growing up, then I told her about my miscarriage, and then I told her about the fact that the doctor said we couldn't have children after that, and so it was so much compiled together, and this woman of God said to me, Won't God more than you want anything else. And that was the that was the aha moment for me that was like, What did she just say? And as if she heard me say that, and I didn't say it out loud, but I said it in my head, as if she heard me say that, she repeated it, and she said, Want God more than you want anything else. And that was the journey, that was the start of the journey to Christ. And that day I went, I I couldn't wait for her to finish my hair. I got in my car and I just wept. I cried from that from her shop all the way back home, and I told God I didn't know that I wanted something else more than Him. That was that was how it all began, and so I just felt this peace come upon me, and I began to share as if God didn't already know, but I began to pour out what I was feeling, how I felt rejected, how I felt so much pain on the inside. And that was the the beginning of God beginning to draw me, you know, to Him. And here and feeling God say to me, give me all of what you have been carrying for all this time. And so that was that was that that spark of, wait a minute, I didn't even realize because again, I was very, I didn't know anything about we grew up. I grew up in religion. I say that all the time. I grew up in religion. Religion is you go to church, you come home, but nothing changes, and so that's all I knew. But I didn't know I needed a relationship with Christ, and I didn't know that God was such a personal God, and that was how I began to journey to healing, to wholeness. And even after getting, that was the moment I accepted Christ as well, but even through the years of accepting Christ, there were pieces that He was healing me from, those pockets of pain, I would call it all of those things he was driving out of me. I remember sitting in church sometimes and just sitting there and just weeping. And and when I would sit there, and we would church would be going on and shouting and praising and singing and everything, and I'm sitting there and I'm just crying, and and I'll never forget on that journey. Again, I was I was a Christian at the time. I heard I was crying one day and I heard the Lord say, Give it again, give it all to me. And I kept saying to myself in my heart in the middle of that service, I said, God, why can't they see my pain? And so that's what drove me to begin to, I believe, to begin to notice the pain in women and girls, notice what they have experienced, and that was similar to what I had experienced, and that and after that, God called me to tell my story in words, in writing, which that was a whole nother fight. I was like, I don't want to do that, but it it helped many women to see that me be vulnerable, it helped them to begin to be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Oh my god, that is so powerful. There were so many things that you said that just stuck out to me. First of all, you want God more than you want anything else? That is so good. And so what I what I really like my listeners to get when they hear the conversation is practical things. Like if somebody is listening, what does that mean? Like, how did you want him more than

Surrender Forgiveness And Writing To Heal

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than anything else? And then you said something else, and I think these can go hand in hand. God said, give it to him. So, what does that surrender look like when that's all you knew was how to hold on to that pain, how to hold on to that hurt? So, those two things, how did you want him more, and how did you actually surrender?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

So the surrender part came, I would say came first. So the surrender, what it means when you survive when we surrender to to the Lord is all of what's on our picture, a whole bunch of stuff on our shoulders, and all of what's sitting on our shoulders that we've carried from the time we were kids until whatever age we become, we're carrying that, and so we're releasing, even if it's just a releasing it to him, through sometimes you you release it kicking and screaming, and so releasing it from our heart, it might be unforgiveness. How do I release unforgiveness? Well, I'm on an unpopular opinion. Sometimes people say, you know, we should immediately because the word the word does say that we should be forgiven so that God can forgive us. But forgiveness takes time, and so forgiveness could be when you begin to pray for the person who hurt you, so that release, and because you can't really honestly stay mad with people who you who you're praying for, and so that one thing is to start praying for when God, one of the things God told me to begin to pray for people, the people who hurt me. That was one of the things, and so and and especially the person who um abused me, and so that was that was hard. It was very hard because my but also it looks like talking to God because that's what a relationship is. Saying to God, like I remember saying to God, you want me to do what? Do you remember what this person did to me? As if God is not all-knowing. But that's what's that's what a relationship looks like, and being vulnerable before God, he already knows, he already knows all of what's in our hearts, but giving like speaking those words to him, spending taking time with you and just God, not getting opinions from people, because sometimes people's opinions would be, I'll never forget that person. They they I they they'll they'll you know, they'll say just stuff, just all kind of stuff to say they're not gonna forgive, but God commands that we forgive that person and it is a process. So forgiveness is one of those things that of what it looks like to release, also being able to sometimes I would write things out in to God. If I'm crying, if if it's too much for me to just speak, then I'm writing it out. So that's a release. Writing was a great release for me. So writing, I write, I wrote my my story and mixed it into fiction, and so that was a big release to God for me. It took me two years to write my first women's fiction that had my story tied into. It but that releasing through your words is healing. So I know people have heard that before, but healing, writing is healing, and so that's one of the releases. But the one of the biggest releases is that forgiveness piece because you gotta one forgive yourself, you gotta let God, and also when you're when God shows you whatever scriptures that you should be, that you're like God may show you scriptures to read and study, and when you're reading and studying, especially in those moments, God is showing you who He made you to be, so it's taking off the false identity as well. So it's that transition from this is who I thought I was, and this is what they said about me to receiving what God says through his word. So that's another way to release. So that's one, those are ways to release to God. And what was the other question? I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Oh no, that's okay. What was it, the surrendering part? Like, how did you actually surrender everything? And I mean, it kind of I think it goes hand in hand what you said. So that I think I think you answered it.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

And I think the surrender ultimately, the surrendering part is as I was saying, it takes time to surrender. But also is that building that relationship with the Lord to say, you know, I remember times God said you're gonna keep holding on to it or you're gonna give it to me. Which one is it? And so, and it's again being honest, because we don't know. I often tell tell people when I'm even when I'm ministering, that we don't know that we need to be free until we realize we're bound. And so when we realize we're bound with something, which is the things from our past, then we'll let Christ set us free. And so it may be little pieces of freedom. And it may take, it may be a month, it might be a few days, it might be a year, it may be two years, five years, but it's you know, surrendering those things and recognizing when you have picked it back up. So I sometimes I begin to say, okay, Lord, wait a minute, why did I why did I do that? Sometimes we have to watch our actions, like the thing, the reason why we do certain things that is tied directly back to that thing that we're supposed to have given to God, but we don't picked it back up. And so talking to the Lord and saying, Okay, Lord, why did I just do that? Why did I refuse to? I remember here's an example, here's a good example. I for the longest, when I was called to minister the gospel, for the longest of times, I refused to minister or speak to adults. I refused. I didn't, I just wanted to talk to children, and so my mentor, and that's another thing, having somebody to hold you accountable. My mentor called me on the phone one day, and she told me, God said he has called you to speak, to share your testimony to teach the word to women as well as girls who have experienced what you you've been walking through or what you walked through as it in and into your adulthood. And when she said it, I was like, No, God didn't, because I didn't want to hear it. And so I was like, No, you sure? I don't know. He didn't tell me that. And she told me, she said, Go and ask gosh. Go, she said, you're you don't want to deal with adults. There's a reason. Go and pray and ask God to tell you why, to you know, to reveal to you why, why don't you want to have anything to do with adults? And I did, and immediately the Lord said, It's because adults were the ones who hurt you, and you want to protect the children, and so that's why you reject the adults, and it took a lot for God to just again those pieces to heal me to even to be able to grab a microphone and begin to minister to women, begin to minister, you know, the the the the topic of barreness. It took a lot for it, but it was knowing why I wouldn't do certain things. And a

Procrastination Fear And Hidden Brokenness

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lot of times we say that's who I am. No, sometimes it's not who you who you are, it's what has caused you to become that way. And so that's that's one of the ways. That's the you know, that's a huge way that caused me to begin to surrender to God.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

So for and I I don't know if it's men as well, but for women, sometimes I think we can be so busy and keep ourselves busy that we don't have, we we're so busy that we don't have time or we don't make time to even see that we are spiritually lacking, emotionally lacking or struggling, and that we are barren in places. I know one of the signs could be being busy, right? Is there any other things that we we might need to be mindful of? And I think you gave a good example of if you're just saying no to something and you really don't know why you're saying no to something, maybe you need to reflect on, well, why am I saying no to this opportunity? And we know that all good opportunities are necessary not necessarily botities, right? We have to pray about it, but really reflecting why do I always say no to this? Maybe I need to reflect and look, is there an emotional reason why? Is there something, some trauma that I'm trying to avoid and run away from? Why am I always busy? Why do I oversleep? I'm just thinking of some things naturally that we could look at to see is there some area that we might be dealing with, some barrenness to maybe address. Is there anything else that you can think of?

SPEAKER_00 28:09

One of the biggest things for me that was another component of why, you know, me realizing, wait a minute, this is one of the areas. One of the through writing, you discover that procrastination is actually one of those things. So when you procrastinate and things, you say, Well, no, it's not perfect, and it has to be this, and I gotta get wait, I'm not done with it. That is a form of fear. That's a form of like, I don't want to deal with this right now because it's it's opening up something in me. So procrastination is a huge, a huge one. Just let's say God called you to again again to write, and you come up with a million different reasons why you haven't finished something. A lot of the reasons why is because there's some there's some brokenness in that area of something that God has called you to write. And we have to remember that there is someone waiting to receive that story, to receive what he told you to put out there. Why? Because it's gonna just the way he free, he began to free you, he's gonna free them through that story. And so procrastination is huge. I learned that a long time ago, because like I said, my first women's fiction, it took me forever, and I kept saying it's not finished, it's not finished. I kept rewriting, but it was it was it was fear, it was the fear of rejection. That's what it was. It was the fear of rejection.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

How did everything that you have been through? How did that shape the woman that you are now? Just as a as a writer, as as a woman's guy, everything. Like, do you feel like you will be all that or where you're at without all of the things that you have gone through?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

No, I actually I I I thank God for the journey because I don't believe that this the testimony of from bareness to wholeness would have come to pass had I not experienced, even though I don't believe it was God's will. I believe it was the will of man that the people do what they do and they have free will. But there are people out there who, you know, may believe that God wanted that to happen. They I've heard so many different things in over the years, and God didn't, you know, want that to happen. It may have been something that happened in your life, but it's part of your testimony, just like the scripture in Romans 8 and 28 says, and we know that all things work together for the good. And so those things that may not have been good, God turned them around for our good to help somebody else, to go after somebody else and help them to know Him that if He brought us out, He can do the same for them.

Endometriosis Dreams And A Miracle Pregnancy

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So I'm gonna get a little personal here. And if if you're willing, we talked about the spiritual and emotional, so the physical. Do you have children? Are you able to have children? What has that journey been like if you're willing to share?

SPEAKER_00 31:28

So, my um my physical barreness journey, I do have a son. We do have a son, he is 22. He is our only child years ago. That you know, that's part of my testimony that the doctors, after I miscarried our first child, the doctors told us we wouldn't be able to have children because of the endometriosis. I don't know if people are familiar with endometriosis, but it's like they they said scar tissue that is growing on the uterus, and so it was all over both of my ovaries. Also dealt with cysts, ovarian cyst, huge ovarian cyst, and so they were covering both of my ovaries. So the doctors said we they they actually in my early 20s wanted to give me a full hysterectomy, and because of it, and I had anemia where they would give me iron because I it was just really bad, and I wouldn't allow them to give me a hysterectomy so young, and it was it took my husband's mom, who was a minister as well, and his his aunt, who was also a minister, to say God can heal you without a doctor touching you, and so it took three years, and I always say in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, it took three years later, God gave me a dream, and I had it, and that's one of the giftings that I have. I dream stuff, and God will show me stuff in my sleep. And I had a dream, I had I dreamed I went to the doctor, and I thought I had like I think it was like a urinary tract infection. That's what I thought in the dream. And then when I got to the doctor, the doctor said, wait a minute, let me do some more testing. And when the doctor turned around and did more testing, they found out that I was pregnant in the dream. In the natural, it happened the exact same way. The only difference was that the doctor in the dream was a male, the doctor in real life was a female. Wow, so and and it happened exactly the way God showed it to me. And in addition to my dream, my husband's aunt, she also dreamed, she told us exactly how our son would look when he would be born. He would be born with all his hair on his head, they would think he's a little girl. All of that happened exactly the way it was prophesied. And so that's you know, the I would say, even though I experienced the endometriosis, the testimony is our 22-year-old. And the blessing that God gave us. And I always think about that. And yes, in 2016, I did end up having to have a partial hysterectomy. I had to have it because I began to have two cycles, and I was already anemic and I was already getting very, very exhausted all the time. I was tired all the time. And the doctor said you can't manage two cycles because you it you're it's gonna be almost like you're losing blood. So so that's when we, you know, I went through the partial hysterectomy, and I didn't go immediately into menopause because of them leaving one of my ovaries, and so but it's been a journey, but I appreciate I haven't had any more problems since the partial hysterectomy. But there are a lot of women I know who are experiencing the same thing, the same kind of experience.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Wow, and so that's such a blessing that you were able to have a baby, even though it looked one way, but God blessed it another way. It sounded like you might have wanted more, right? But God seemed fit another way, right? And so did any of that impact how you felt about your worthiness or womanhood? Sometimes I I ask women, especially those that wanted, you know, a lot of children or children, how did that impact them as women? And I hear a lot about you know, just our reproductive systems and things of that nature, and some of the struggles that we go through. So, did any of that have an impact on you and your faith journey and your walk?

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Um, at first it did. The when I had to make the decision to have the hysterectomy, the partial hysterectomy, which was five hours long because of the endometriosis, they they they literally, you know, they explained that my bowels and my bladder were attached to my uterus. So they had they did a robotic surgery. But so when I was going in, I I did have that that moment of God, why do I need to, why do I have to go through this? And you know, but I always felt God's peace. And then he reminded me later that he had given me tons of children. And I'm like, ah, Lord, the children that I that I encourage inside the classroom that I teach. And so that was some of the ways and the mentoring of children, and and so those were ways that he really gave me a piece about what I, you know, what I was going through and my my niece and my nephews and things like that. So it was at first, I do, I can say that I did question why did I have to have hysterectomy? But you know, I thank God for the opportunity of, you know, just the experience, even still, because the the journey, even in that, and the times that they thought that because of the end of so much of the endometriosis, the times that they thought I actually had cancer, and they and they did all these testing and trying to make sure there was nothing else going on. And so they had to remove every you know, everything. Now, because I'm 49 and I'm almost I'll be 50 this this year in September. I don't even think about it no more. It's just so I'm like, it is what it is now.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

So yes, so again, this is between a prayer and a promise.

Abiding Through The Jonah Season

SPEAKER_01 38:05

So I always like to talk about the between space. So we talked about the barrenness part, and now you get to the wholeness. What was that in-between stage when you were waiting for that feeling of I'm whole, I'm complete. I got the books now, I'm the minister now, I'm this, I'm here, you know. And people may be listening and they they hear this this great, powerful woman of God and this beautiful testimony. And they also heard the journey beforehand when you were going through all this and the the child abuse and all that. But what was that in-between season like for you when it's like, okay, I know that I've been through all this. This was not where I needed to be anymore. I I can't live in this herd anymore. God said He has a plan for me and it's better than this. But I don't even know what that plan is yet. You didn't know that you were gonna be a writer and minister and all this. You didn't know what the promise was, but you knew that that there was something. So, what was that journey like? How did it feel? And how did you hold on to that God has something better for you when you didn't even know what that was? When the devil is still the enemy is still whispering the lies in your ear. What was that in-between season like?

SPEAKER_00 39:25

I think my in-between season was it was like the steps to the to where I am today. So my in-between, I the only word that pops in my head right now is abiding. So a lot of what I was doing, I was writing for myself. Like I was, I have a my Hope in Christ website. When I first launched it, when God was healing me through my writing, I was really writing for me. And so I would be writing devotions or and spending quiet time. So that in-between time had a lot to do with healing my heart, helping me to trust God enough to say, come on, let's go. Because he knew, and and another part of it was was right. I began, I started off writing for children. So I started off with children and ministering to children, and I really think that was that in between of getting to the where I am today because God knew that I didn't trust and didn't want to, wasn't willing to uh minister to adults. So that in between was just different pockets of steps, I would call them steps and abiding in Christ and hearing from the Lord. And and honestly, it was hard. Like it was it was hard to just, you know, when people say I just did it, no, I didn't just do it. I fought, I kicked, I screamed. I was the Jonah, I was the one who tried to run, and I don't know where I was going, but I tried to run away from when God was calling me. As he was healing me, I was, and I could hear that he was calling me to go and do. Now I need you to go do this. Now I need you to go that, do that. That it was still the fears that he still needed to drive out of me. He's it was still those different pieces. So it was that that was the in-between. It was kind of like I don't know, I guess I could say just that the Jonah moments where I would run and I would hide, but God was still tugging at my heart and pulling me slowly, not like you know, you're gonna go and do this right now and you're gonna be here right now. It was slow steps, step by step.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Wow. I'm always surprised how fast these interviews go. I learned so much just from engaging and and and hearing people's story. And and I just we're we're gonna wrap this up really quickly, but I I kind of want to go back to what you said about the want

Stop Chasing And Stay Hungry

SPEAKER_01 42:20

God more than anything else. And and you share with us that one of the scriptures that you like was Psalm 63 and 1, which talks about thirsting for God in a dry place. So, what does that look like to stay hungry for God? Because I think that when you are in the in-between spaces, that's what you have to do. So, how can we continue to stay hungry for God and seeking Him when nothing is moving? I know for me personally, it's it's really forcing myself to stay around people, even though I don't feel like it. Like I'm gonna go to prayer, even though I don't feel like it. It's not about how I feel. It's like, okay, I can't go about my emotions because my emotions lie, right? So that's something that I have to do, even if I don't feel thirsty. I don't feel thirsty, but I know I should. Right. So I have to constantly tell myself and remind myself what's better for me. And so I don't know if there's anything you would because you know that's your scripture. You stand on that. So I know there might be something more. I just I love what you had, you said, like wanting him more and just thirsting for him more to stay.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

And you you know, actually, I'm glad you said that because I am literally that's been something I've been experiencing right now. Like I had gotten to a place recently, I would say end of last year, coming into this year, where I was because when you when you start walking. in purpose and moving in purpose sometimes it looks like you're chasing stuff like you're chasing you gotta you're trying to keep up you're trying to you're doing this and you're doing that and I had gotten to the place literally today I started writing a blog for my one of my blog pages I started writing about I I want to abide and I don't want to chase any longer like and so that's one of the things that I try my best and I think lately it's been God saying come back over here come back over here and stay right here and even though in my mind I'm like okay I gotta write this blog I gotta do this I got to minister here in your head you I gotta I gotta record the podcast I got to do this but I just had gotten so in the place lately Saturday I had an event this past Saturday I had an event a book event and I literally was walking I had went to park my car unloaded went to park my car and I was walking back up to the event and I was literally walking saying God I don't even feel like doing this today I just want Lord I said Lord I just want you I don't want to I don't want to chase stuff I don't I want I I thank you for the writing I thank you for the ministry I thank you for all but I don't I how do I just desire you know want you and still do what you call me to do and so that's one of the things I really been really that's been in my heart lately and I would say having that heart posture and staying right there because the because if we look out into I call it social media land and if we look out into the the land of everything even Christians it's a chase it's uh the next level this and the next level that and I said Lord we have to get to the place we got to keep in mind like I I picture Isaiah I picture you know just different people in scripture who just stay in his presence staying in God's presence staying in his word so what I do now instead of me just oh I got to post for the blog and oh I gotta do a podcast episode I literally say what am I studying right now and whatever I'm studying it's almost like I'm just sharing what I've studied I'm sharing what's on my heart instead of chasing just to what do people want to hear? What do you know what I'm saying? So sometimes we get caught up in that chase and abiding in crisis you're just sharing you're not it's you're not feeling overwhelmed with all the other stuff. If I when I write when God gives me the next book to write I just I want it to be because I'm just abiding in him and if it's if it's a bestseller so be it but I don't want to get caught up in that anymore and that's where I've been the last couple of I want to say last couple of months I've been like that and I'm like so I I spent a lot of time studying the scriptures and I spent a lot of time reflecting and writing on those scriptures and I just share it. I've been sharing that's where God has had had me recently and when I see the chase in in the world around me I just begin to pray that people would remember that it's about lifting up his name and not about drawing people you know drawing people to us so that's one of the things that I would probably add yeah that is so good because at the end of the day we want to make sure that what we do for God that's what will matter that's what will count because we can chase all this stuff and guess what in the end it doesn't matter and he knows our heart like you said our heart position that's what will matter why are you doing this the difference of course we want to do everything with excellence and do our due diligence but did you even pray about it did you even ask did you include him did you include him did you ask him or are you inviting him later saying oh yeah and God this is what I'm gonna do so that's that's that's the whole the whole shift and so that's so good we need to shift how we are doing our life where he's leading it and he's not just an add on to everything that we do.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

And so thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

I I want to um ask you if you could just share with the listeners today if there's if there's someone if there's a woman who is afraid to hope again because maybe the last time she hoped right

Afraid To Hope Again

SPEAKER_00 49:15

you know it left her feeling hopeless you know it left her feeling depleted what words of encouragement would you leave for her today and I I guess it would go right back to that that phrase that you had uh earlier that I that I said I would really say to her to want God more than anything because and it's not and I'm and when I'm saying that I'm not saying it in a way to just to that it sounds like mean but wanting God more is realizing that we need him and asking God to help us to not desire the other things so much but why do I want that thing so bad because sometimes it's an empty place in us that God needs to feel and we know that the word tells us that there's only there's something in us within us that only God can feel and so that's what I would share is to want him more seek him as the word says and you will find him as you search for him with all your heart and he will be found by you that's what the word says in Jeremiah and it's it's important for us to find him because again the peace is there when we abide in him the joy everything that we thought we needed and because all of those things are temporary all of those things are temporary but the hope that we seek the true hope we seek is Christ himself and so we we think about the woman with the issue of blood and how she had she gave up all uh like she paid all her money out trying to be healed and yes he he can heal us but she had given all you know of everything to be healed but I believe they don't tell the rest of her story but I believe that yes she was healed because she touched the hem of his garment but I believe she also came to know him and she began to sit at his feet and so I think that's important that yes he is a healer he can do anything but fail but that want that we have that's deep down on the inside is what he can feel and if we just chase after that then I believe that what what else we're wanting and seeking that it will he will feel it he will answer right because I believe that the word says you know it's not that he doesn't he doesn't know that he wants to give us good things he will give he

How To Connect With Denise

SPEAKER_00 52:00

does want to give us good things but he wants to give us him first and so so that's what I would say amen all right so I want people to learn just quickly before we close out a little bit about you your ministry so if you can share a little bit about Hope Christ ministries the the publishing service you have and then also tell us how we can connect with you if they want to connect with you absolutely again thank you thank you thank you for having me my ministry is Hope in Christ Ministries and Hope in Christ is I would call it's a virtual ministry but it goes around the world is through my podcast where I share the word I teach the word every other Sunday online via radio and it goes through YouTube as well through Divine Order Restoration Ministries where you can find my voice every other Sunday where I'm sharing a message but I also share on my podcast and I do speaking engagements and my focus is this is whole walking in wholeness in Christ and so that's hope in Christ I also am a blogger through hope in Christ the website www dot hope dash in dash christ dot com I blog and I also ask others to share on the wholeness blog of the whole not the wholeness I'm sorry the hope way blog and so I ask others to share there and it's just messages of faith messages devotions different things and I also teach Bible study strategies and so on my website you will find a a one of the pages is come Bible study with me and the come Bible study with me right now we're doing the book of Isaiah we are in chapter seven um well chapter eight now and so I just share literacy strategies to help people better understand scripture because I'm an English teacher and so I take those strategies and I flip them and make Bible study strategies. So that's hope in Christ and then my business is honor of hope writing and publishing services and armor of hope is where I do copy editing and developmental editing and book coaching for Christian nonfiction authors and children's book authors and so those are the the audience the people that I help so if you have a memoir that you want to write if you have a children's book that you want to write then you can reach out to me and then you could connect with me on Facebook Facebook at author denise and walker or Facebook at excuse me or Facebook at hope in Christ with Denise that gives you the podcast and my messages when I'm teaching and also you can connect with me also on Instagram the same thing at author denise and walker or at hope in Christ with Denise and then I also have a TikTok that I try to keep up with and that is at the hope way and at the hope way I share information about literacy strap Bible literacy strategies and I also have I share about my authorship and the things that I'm doing on the author Denise M Walker underscore hope. So those are ways you can reach out to me I recently just started writing on medium if you're familiar with it and on medium I'm still Denise M.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

Walker on medium so I started reading writing about literacy strategies for the Bible to help people to build their understanding of scripture so that they can understand who Christ is so that they will know who they are and so that's how you can connect with me wonderful thank you so much Denise I appreciate you thank you for your transparency thank you for sharing today I know that the listeners will definitely get something from this podcast today.

Prayer Final Charge And Farewell

SPEAKER_01 56:23

And so we are going to close out today in prayer so dear heavenly father Lord we just thank you we thank you that you are restored we thank you that you rebuild and you renew Father God Lord we thank you that you are the God even in the barren places father God Lord and for every woman that is listening who feels empty I ask right now that you feel her father God Lord reminder that her dry seasons they're not the end of her story father God Lord reminder father God Lord that you are with her you are with her you are there now and you will be with her until the end father God Lord for every woman that is thirsty that is waiting that is wondering if wholeness is possible for her tell her that it is reminder that you are made that you have made her in in in your image father God Lord hallelujah Father God Lord meet her in her dry places lead her father God Lord one step at a time into wholeness and it's in Jesus' name that we pray amen thank you so much for listening to between the prayer and the promise if this episode encouraged you we love for you to like subscribe and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Your support helps us reach more people who are walking through their own season of waiting but here's what matters most remember to trust God not just when the answers come not just when the blessings show up but right here in the waiting right here in the silence right here in the in-between He is faithful. He sees you and he's working even when you can't see it yet until next time keep believing keep trusting and keep holding on I'm Lenny Sleeds and I promise you God is faithful